Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Euro Englis

T he European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.  
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'.. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as

replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My Daughters and I

And there I am constantly beating myself over the big blob of fat in my mid section that passes for a tummy. After 3 kids you'd think I should have resigned myself or at least ignored, or maybe hidden behind the fact that it could pass off as the Nigerian evidence of child birth. But no its been one Chinese tea after the other and starving myself till I get a headache, all in the bid to look 16 again.

Recently, while I was spending quality time with the girls, I was suddenly struck or punched right in the tummy I abhor. When I suddenly noticed that while Kela is all slim, trim, flat tummy-ed and model like, Tounye is slim, trim, will sadly not be a model, with a rotund tummy.

Halleluyah, I just confirmed what a friend of mine once said was totally impossible, being big bellied was somewhere in our genetic makeup I mean that's the only explanation for a lil girls tummy looking somewhat like her momma's, Right? I looked down at my tummy with new eyes from then on as a gift from my dad's line, as a genetic makeup I could not have avoided if I wanted too.

Its given me a reason to avoid hoping I'd meet Dr. Ray someday or maybe Ms. Ozolua. Goes to show what our minds will accept when we give it a chance to translate ordinary things.

Now where's that cup of Chinese tea ;-)

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year Bloggy

Happy New Year Bloggy Dearest,

I promise to be more attentive this year.